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Sometimes a Vet Needs a Quick Getaway
12/06

This lady’s dog was huge, and had severe arthritis. I had been to see him when unable to get up because of pain and muscle spasm 3 times before, and each time he had responded well to an injection of painkiller, and managed to haul his creaking old body back up onto his feet for a while longer. Tonight, it was a later call, about 9:00pm.

I had given him his injection, and some body work, and gotten him back on his feet. Then I went inside to write up my notes, and do the bill. I was invited into her lounge, where I pulled my computer out and set to work. She had a glass of wine in hand (obviously not the first for the evening), and suddenly I realised that I was in the cougar’s lair… and she was on the prowl.

She was more than tiddly. It was chillingly obvious that the wine had kicked in, that her body language was, shall we say, inviting. She was already dressed for bed, as she’d found her dog in distress last thing.

Oh dear! Not that she was unattractive, but this was somewhere I really didn’t want to go. What to do? “Focus very intently on the computer,” I told myself, “type bloody quickly, no eye contact, and be very cool indeed with my body language”.

She kept chatting away, slurring her words ever so gently. I was setting a new world record for two fingered typing, and brevity of clinical notes. Unfortunately, the faster I typed, the more mistakes I made!

It felt like a lifetime until I finally got it all finished. I told her how much the bill was, waited with bated breath while she wrote out the cheque, and scarpered!

It was only when I was back in my trusty van and on the road that I truly relaxed…

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